Posted by: Calvin | December 14, 2008

Growing Up Is Hard To Do

I see my sons everyday.  Some days it is hard to tell they are growing before my eyes.  Other days something will happen and, all of a sudden, I notice they are bigger and older, the same but totally different.  Last week was one of those weeks. 

On Wednesday, Baseball Boy went to bed at his usual time.  We had just been to the local bar association family holiday party.  Both boys sat on Santa’s lap and made their Christmas wishes.   I was just about to settle into my usual quiet time activities, reading, blogging or watching television, or some combination of all of the above, when BB came out of his room. 

BB:  “Mom, can I ask you a question?” 

Me:  “Sure, what’s up?”

BB:  “I am not sure I want to ask, because I am not sure I want to know the answer.”

Knowing what he was thinking, I wasn’t sure I wanted him to ask, but I knew it was time.  I replied, “It is up to you.  You know you can ask me anything.”

He hesitated, unsure what to do.  Then he asked, “Is Santa real?”

The conversation that followed was difficult and involved many tears, his and mine.  After a while, he feel asleep and so did I, both knowing things as we knew them had just changed.  My little boy is growing up.  The next morning, BB said, “I wish I had not asked that question last night.”  I hugged him, told him he was ready and how proud I was of him.

BB has taken on his new role of older, knowing big brother very well.  He knows that while it was time for him, it is up to his little brother to decide for himself when he will ask that question.  

Last night while we decorated the Christmas tree, BB was back to his cheerful, contemplative self.  We were having a great time, listening to Christmas music and talking about many of the ornaments and the significance each had for our family.  BB showed me his “Baby’s First Christmas” ornament and I explained that his grandma bought that for him his first Christmas.  Then he looked at me, so curious and serious, and asked, “So, have the scientists discovered how the babies get in their mom’s tummies?”  I . . . ah . . . looked at him . . . and . . . ah said, “Yes, but that conversation will have to wait for another time.”



  1. Santa one day and birds and the bees the next. Crap!!!!!!

    I am so not ready for all of this.

  2. This year brought the end of my tenure as a parent of a believer in Santa. It’s really kind of sad, even though I know we did pretty well to make it to 4th grade with our youngest still believing!

  3. Ah, it seems our house is not the only one that had tears when the truth was found out. Santa does live, but he lives in all of us. Unfortunately, they eventually learn that their fantasy of the North Pole’s magically invisible workshop is nothing but imagination is a hard pill to swallow.

    Good luck with the next topic, there isn’t a soft, fluffy way to ease into that one!

  4. I didn’t have to deal with the Santa thing since we’re Jewish, but the same discussion came with the tooth fairy. So hard to see them make those leaps before we’re ready to take the fiction from our eyes that they will be your little kids forever.

    Pretty progressive son you have there. I guess he figured if I can deal with Santa I can deal with the big stuff. Oh my.

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