Posted by: Calvin | March 29, 2008

Open Letter to Office Employees

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Dear Office Employee:

Apparently there are a number of basic concepts that have escaped your notice.  Hopefully the following will assist you to develop a greater understanding of your value to the company:

  • We know when you are pretending to look busy; for example just because you minimize the solitaire game when we walk by does not mean that we do not know that you were playing solitaire.
  • Arriving at the office “on time” and then spending 15 -20 minutes eating your breakfast, does not count as being “on time.”
  • Your computer tells us a lot about what you do all day;  for example, your Internet history tells us that you spent a portion of the afternoon looking up whether your hair style makes you look old. 
  • Time that you spend at the office doing personal things or just plain not working adds up; for example, 15 minutes a day is the equivalent of 62.5 hours a year.  You would not be happy if the company did not pay you for those 62.5 hours . . . likewise, the company is not happy to pay you to not work. 
  • Taking office supplies home for your personal use is stealing.
  • Covering up your mistakes more often leads to bigger problems and ultimately the company losing even more money, so be big enough to admit when you err.
  • We are not as blind and as stupid as you think we are.
  • Just because we do not say anything about your shenanigans, doesn’t mean that we do not know it is happening and taking notes.
  • And, most importantly, your pay is a measure of your value to the company, not the amount of money you need to live.

If you take note of these basic truths and alter your behavior accordingly, then you are significantly more likely to get that raise you think you deserve or better . . . keep your job!

Thank your for your attention.  Now, please get back to work!

The Company Management/Owner

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Responses

  1. The workplace is really tough right now. It is getting harder and harder to find people who actually look for more things to do during down times. It seems like they are afraid if that if they do more, then more will be expected of them.

    But, many of these same people, expect larger pay increases and promotions when it is time for a yearly review. I would compare to just treading water instead of swimming for shore.

    Some people are already at their peak and they are not capable of anything more. The work force definitely has a place for the steady, reliable and dependable employee who has reached their peak and performs daily. The is unappreciated skill also.

    Sorry so long…strong opinions on this subject!

  2. I’ve spent many times as a boss explaining that the correct answer to “Why do you think you deserve this raise?” is not “Because I just got a new car and have to make payments/moved to a new place and have to pay more rent/have to pay more child support.”

    Sigh. I’m with you on this post. Well said.


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