Posted by: Calvin | February 7, 2008

Time Off

Fisherman is on a fishing weekend at the Fish Camp with 4 other fishermen friends from near and far.  I have no doubt he will have a fabulous time.  I also have no doubt he will be missed.   Just yesterday, Mojo was telling our British neighbors how much his Dad does:

  • makes his breakfast,
  • packs his lunch,
  • picks him up from school,
  • helps him with his homework,
  • makes his dinner,
  • gives him his medicine. 

He is right on with his list.  I was feeling very under utilized and a bit guiltyas the list grew.  One of the Brits in her casual fair way asked Mojo who did his laundry.  I was thinking to myself “the cleaning lady” while Kyle said, “Mom, . . . but I have to help her.”  It is true that I do a few loads a week and it is also true that Kyle helps me.  He chose laundry as one of his chores.  Over the weekend he divides our mound of dirty clothes into white, lights and darks.  He buttons the buttons, snaps the snaps, zips the zippers and empties the pockets.  (He picked this chore because I let him watch TV while he sorts.)  Don’t get me wrong, I am not a slacker.   I do other things that are less obvious to Mojo:

  • make sure all the bills get paid,
  • fill out all the forms that are needed for school and other activities and make sure they are submitted,
  • take the boys to all of their friends’ birthday parties (and rsvp and buy the presents),
  • drive the boys to school everyday,
  • help them with their long term school projects,
  • take them to violin and practice with them,
  • buy their clothes and other necessities,
  • arrange for all their doctor and dentist appointments and get them there,
  • almost always it is me that stays home when they are sick. 

Fisherman and I have a true parenting partnership.  He is good with the day to day consistent tasks.  I am good with the recurring inconsistent tasks.  This is just how things have worked out.  We did not plan our duties.  They evolved. 

The plan is not written in stone.  We both work and run separate businesses.  We both have customers and employees that depend on us in addition to our demanding young sons.  This requires flexibility.  We check in every afternoon to determine if either of us needs to change the plan.  This time of year, I usually need to work late.  Other times of year it is easier for me to cut out early and let him work late.  On those days, I pick up the boys, help them with their homework and cook dinner.  Admittedly, I have not been able to do much of that lately. 

With Fisherman away, I am looking toward to 3 nights and 3 days on my own.  I think of all he does and wonder how I will get it all done.  I already had to call upon a friend for help.  Today she picked up the boys from school so I could work late on a demanding closing that I thought would be over tomorrow, but will continue into next week.  My client has asked me to meet him on Saturday so he can sign his documents early.  I warned him that I was on my own this weekend, so my kids may need to come to the office with me.  He said he wouldn’t mind.  We shall see how that goes!  I worry, but chances are the boys will be very good for me or better, my parents will be able to take them for a few hours.  With good friends and great parents, I am really not on “my own.”  Everything will get done (or not) and we will manage to have some fun along the way.

Fisherman needs this weekend.  It has been planned for many months and they do this every year.  He will be able to bond and reconnect with friends from his single days.  We nearly lost one of the friends from complications after cancer treatments last year, so this year is really necessary as far as I am concerned.  I am glad that he will have this time on his own with the guys.  I hope he catches a lot of fish and comes back rested and refreshed. 

That said, I need one of these weekends too!  I can’t remember the last time I went any where without my family that didn’t involve professional continuing education or other professional pursuits.  I am officially adding to my list getting out of town with a girlfriend or girlfriends just to have fun.   Any takers? 



  1. Perhaps you could stow away in Alto2’s bag in October.
    just a thought 🙂

  2. ::waving hands:: Me! Neither of us can take time off right now, but maybe later in the spring. Of course, I would love you to join the August Moms in Seattle in October. Maybe we can convince Bunny and Robin to come.

  3. Thanks, Alto2! Can I be an “honorary” August Mom? I’d love to meet you guys in person, but this year I’m saving up all my PTO for the big Hawaii trip in September. And next weekend is the weekend in Las Vegas with Mr. Daddy, so I’m taking Friday off. There are never enough vacation days to do everything I want to do.

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